Scripture: Ephesians 4:25-31
Importance of our Speech
When it comes to communication, there are generally two kinds of people: those that love to argue and debate and those who avoid confrontation at all costs. How many arguers or sharks are there? How many quiet clams are there? Which one is more loving and more biblical? Neither!
Communication is the process of sharing or transmitting information so that that it is received and understood. Saying your piece or getting something off your chest may not be communicating. You said it, but did the other person hear and understand it? Mumbling under your breath is not communicating.
- Hebrews 1:1-2
- Matthew 12:33-37
- Proverbs 18:21
- Psalm 141:3
Four Rules of Biblical Communication
- Be Honest
- Keep Current
- Attack Problem not Person
- Act! Don’t React
Be Honest (v. 25)
Speak!
Speak Truth
Speak Truth in Love
Ephesians 4:15; Colossians 4:6
Keep Current (vv. 26-27)
Righteous or unrighteous anger?
Psalm 37:8; Proverbs 29:22
We say what we say, we do what we do, and we want what we want because we love what we love.
Questions to ask yourself first:
1 Is my heart attitude right?
2 Do I have the facts right?
3 Should love cover this?
4 Is it the right time?
5 Are my words loving?
6 Have I prayed about it?
7 Should I get counsel from someone else first?
Attack Problem not Person (vv. 29-30)
Don’t attack the person with your words
Matt 5:21-22; James 5; Prov 16:27-28; Matt 7
Don’t blameshift!
I need to see my own sin first. See my sin as worse. And see my sin as the thing I need to be working on most.
– Brad Bigney (Pastor, Counselor, Author)
Attack the problem
1. Start with your heart
2 What are my motives?
3 Thinking right
4 Biblical terminology
5 Modeling grace
Act! Don’t React (vv. 31-32)
Don’t respond to anger with anger; foolishness with foolishness; yelling with yelling…
Prov 15:1; Prov 26:4
Next sermon will go further into this.
Take Aways
Are you honest? Do you keep your word? Do you exaggerate to try to win a fight?
Do you deal with today’s problems today or do you let things build up and get worse?
Do you often resort to name calling or verbal attacks instead of discussing things in a helpful way?
Are you an actor or a reactor? Where do you need to work on self-control?
Which of the four rules do you struggle with most and who do you need to ask for forgiveness?
If you’ve never repented of your sin and trusted Jesus Christ as Savior – that’s the starting point. All of these biblical communication guides are so much harder when you have not become a new creation in Christ.
